LESSON ONE EXERCISE

Lesson One is about you and what you brought with you into the marriage.

Like luggage full of thoughts, behaviors, emotions and experiences, we're going on a Q+A to unpack what we brought with so we can map how we emotionally got here.

Before you were married, what did you think your life was going to look like? What was your perception of “grown-up”? What did you come into the marriage thinking life experiences like getting married, having a child, your career, your home and your family would look, feel and be like? How about who you are? Is your past perception of who you’d think you’d become a match with the qualities and traits you feel you possess now? Is the identity you've created for yourself in line with the one you want to have?

Use the printable lesson to check-in on where you’re at in the life categories of work/career, home, parenting, hobbies and interests, family time. Are you meeting the expectations you had for yourself?Are you far from them? What would need to happen to move you toward your realistic identity?

Conscious Partnering: Take the completed worksheet to your spouse and talk through it with him or her.

Instead of demanding they complete it, approach them with a “I’m learning something about myself that I’d like to share with you,” vibe. As you are going through some of your expectations with him or her, invite them into the conversation by asking questions like, “were your expectations similar? Different?”

Ask yourself whether you think you've communicated the expectations you'd had or the picture of what life might be like clearly to your spouse? Ask your spouse if any of this sounds familiar. Did he or she know what your hopes and dreams for marriage were at one point? Was their visual very different from yours? Use the talking points and questions on the printable to open up a conversation between the two of you.