LESSON ONE EXERCISE: THE MAP

Working Independently... Where are you in your marriage (on the map, this will be where you Start) and where do you want to go (this is The Journey) ? How would you describe your marriage currently? How do you want to be able to describe your marriage one year from now? Not that change will take that long, but this is about longevity and making small, measurable changes that will last. Using the printable provided, first map out markers and goals you'd to make with your spouse, but complete this on your own first. Instead of thinking about it in a way of tangible accomplishments like, a new house, new car, etc., I want you to only focus on how you want to feel. Answer the question: if you were here, how would you be feeling? Not, what would you have. It's important to really try and visualize yourself - see yourself - at these markers so you can be as clear and specific as possible and be very in touch with what that would feel like for you in that area of your life with your partner. Don't worry, there are examples to help you along on the printable. Conscious Partnering Where you're at on your map and what that looks like to and for you is most likely not going to be the same for your partner. When you and your partner are describing where each of you are currently at on your map, instead of being offended or getting defensive, now is a really great time to practice honoring one another's individual experiences. Your language shouldn’t be blaming or judgmental about the current state of your marriage or where you think you're partner's at, but more like an observation of what you see. What is the view of the marriage from your partner's eyes? Remember Module One about perception? This comes into play very much here. Again, avoid feeling the need to counter or defend anything. In fact, if you do, write it down instead. Use a journal to write down your observations and experiences as you and your partner are going through this exercise and as you continue through the course. There will come a time that we come back to describing our personal reactions later on in the course.