Self care tips you can actually do

If you’re a caregiver…
If you’re a parent…
If you’re healing from a broken heart…
If you’re human…

Self care.

How often have you heard, or even said, “you really need to take care of yourself,” without knowing what that truly means? When we think of self care, most of the time we think of things like massages and manicures, spending time on a beach reading a book or even having a few hours to ourselves. But let’s face it, there are so many things that get in the way. Spending a couple of hours on a massage table let alone a few days on vacation might not be what’s accessible or practical to you. And, these grand gestures of self care aren’t really things we can do on the daily (I wish).

If you’re a parent, a caregiver, a “2” (Enneagram peeps you know who you are) or have ever struggled with feeling stressed out or overwhelmed, chances are you could use a little self care, but outside of the options mentioned above it can be hard to know how to get it. Changing your perspective of what self care means to you can help you get what you need. The kind of care I’m talking about here may look the same as what you already do from the outside, but it feels much different on the outside. It feels purposeful, specific, and chosen by you.

I consider self care to be something practical, easy to come by, and intentional with your time. It should also give you a sense of peace, accomplishment but above all, love. If you have to do it anyway, do it in a way that works with you and can feel good. If you’re taking care of others, you know time isn’t something you get much, if any at all. So when I’m talking about time, I’m not talking about all of a sudden finding yourself with an extra 30 minutes. I’m talking about taking some micro-moments you can take charge of.

If you think about it, parenting and care-giving, busy homes and careers keep us running around, most of the time, right from one task to the next. Our emotional energy is taken up by the to-do list and physical exertion we feel when we’re quite literally carrying others.

Self care isn’t necessarily a matter of adding more to your plate. In fact, if you had to take an extended period of your time and go somewhere it may actually bring on more stress than it care. No, what self care looks like in reality here can be done in your home. The environment we live in is a reflection of how we feel on the inside. Finishing a task or project you’ve started in your home can give you a sense of completion and ties up loose feelings of stuff left undone. Simplify the task by incorporating what you already do. For instance, instead of throwing in a big load of laundry in the wash that you then have to re-wash in two days because you forgot about it, do a small load of laundry, fold it and put it away. Instead of waiting until the sink is full of dirty dishes, empty your dishwasher in the morning so you can keep your sink empty throughout the day. Take a bath with a great bath bomb while you listen to a podcast (that might be stretching it, I know). Making dinner? Throw on some music. Breaking down tasks into manageable, bite-size pieces can help make you feel like you can step over that mogul instead of having to scale a mountain. The important piece is that it feels like care and love and feeds like soul food.

There is a component of self care though that does require you to get out of the house. Taking care of your body and your health is one of the most important yet most under-prioritized things we do, especially when we’re busy taking care of other people. If going to the doctor for a physical, the dentist, the eye doc, chiro, acupuncturist or your therapist hasn’t happened in a while, chances are good that you’ve been neglecting yourself. While they don’t sound fun (except for the therapy part of course but I’m biased), knowing that you have a clean bill of health feels relieving and can be inspiring to keep yourself that way. Afraid you won’t get the clean bill of health? Even more of a reason to go. No one is going to stop and make you go to your doctor appointments yearly so do it for yourself as an investment into you.

No one is going to show up at your door and give you extra time, I’m so sorry. And no one is going to take care of you the way you can take care of your self. Self care isn’t necessarily something you just do, it’s something you feel. Getting there might look different for you than your friend or spouse so ultimately what you need, only you’ll really know. Don’t compare the sense of accomplishment, confidence, fullness or love you feel with the size of the task or the length of time it took you to get there.

Self care looks like time
Self care feels like connection
Self care fuels love
Love fuels everything.

If you’re struggling with self care ideas try one of these:

Go through one drawer in your house and get rid of what you no longer use (only one drawer)
Wash only your bedding and make your bed
Flip through a magazine while you sip a cup of coffee or tea
Watch a movie with your littles or whomever you’re caring for (not a Netflix series, just one movie)
Sit and pet your pet
Listen to a podcast while you’re checking off the to-do
Download an audiobook that’s entertaining or nurtures you in some way
Take a bath with your favorite bath bomb
Diffuse an essential oil or burn a candle in your home
Curl up on the couch with a cozy blanket as you go through your mail or plan your meals
Put away last season’s clothes or holiday decorations
Switch out your home décor and move some stuff around
Change a picture in a picture frame
Apply a face mask
Watch your children play
Bake something (from a box)
Take a picture Journal
Call a friend or family member
Write a hand-written note to someone
Color